I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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