Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
