I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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