Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
