Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
