This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
