I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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