Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
