Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
