break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
