just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
