I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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