ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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