I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Need sex. Gaining weight.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
