census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
