For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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