dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize