I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize