So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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