I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
