Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
