The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
