I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
