We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
