Christians are straight up FREAKS
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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