she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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