and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize