I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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