i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
