U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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