i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize