you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
