I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
