Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
