Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
