My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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