hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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