white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i have two assholes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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