Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
