shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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