..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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