she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm always down for nudity.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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