GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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