I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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