We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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