this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
