she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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