the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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