Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
