My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
