My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize