too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
