Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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