i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
