I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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