so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
