so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
