i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
