Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
