you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
