my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
