Umm I'm too high to move.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
